Psst hey you awake1/19/2023 ![]() ![]() Damn, I should have been streaming this.Ĭongratulations! You’ve unlocked the achievement for observing a high score of over a half billion! That’s 10 reader points! Further achievements can be claimed by clicking on other Hard Drive articles and sharing them with your friends and immediate family. 509 million!? Folks, we’ve been a website for five years and this is the wildest shit I’ve seen by far. Yooooo!!!!! A hundred million ? Are you frickin’ kidding me?! Seriously, somebody tell somebody. This has got to be some kind of a record. We can confirm Jonathan Choe was present during an employer-involved dismissal incident today for reasons, but nevermind all that. Yes!!! A Million! I still feel pretty good, too! OK let’s keep going.ġ4 fucking million? This is beyond what I even thought was possible here today. Desperate to distract from former KOMO journalist Jonathan Choe’s Proud Boys puff piece, KOMO News announced today it would be getting back to its basic bread-and-butter reporting with a new recurring special report titled Psst, Hey You Wanna See a Dead Body. I’m sure you sick fucks are just loving this, huh? What? It just fucking doubled!! Oh man, we’re gonna fucking hit the fucking million! I feel like my whole body just got a boner. He’s still a little spooked bywhatever that noise was, but hey, at least Marvin isn’t mad at him. This is so much better than reading about some stupid DLC you’ll never buy, isn’t it? Oh, shut up Jackie shoots back, feeling all too awake in the middle of the night, but he can’t hide his grin. We still have a ways to go, but keep thinking good thoughts. I wrote an article similar to this a few years back, but I’m starting to think we might even break that one’s high score (Which was 1,000,000,000). Whoaaaaa shit, those numbers are looking pretty good. Yeah, you like that shit, don’t you? Did you think I was fucking around?ĭamn, just keeps on going up. You need your fix, don’t you? You wanna see some numbers go up, isn’t that right? Well, I got you. ![]() Hey, gamer, whatcha doin? Pretending to work? Scouring the same video game news websites that you read every morning, seeing their similar reporting on the same four video game stories they’ve been milking all week? Why don’t you come over here. ![]()
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